I’ve been tagged by rob clack to do the “7 things” thingy. It appears that there are seven different categories altogether as follows:-
7 things I plan to do before I die
7 things I do now
7 things I can’t do
7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
7 things I say most often
7 celebrities I admire
7 favourite foods
Which means that I have to come with 49 items in total to interest you. That’s a big ask – so instead I’ll do one category now and do the other six categories in the weeks to come which should take us to the end of December (so stick with me folks!).
Let’s start with 7 THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE ----
• Go on a world cruise – this will have to wait until Troy Junior goes to University; pencilled in for October 2019. A long time to wait but also a long time to save up for it. If Mrs Troy is good, I’ll take her with me.
• Tour New Zealand – having seen it in a number of films, like Lord of The Rings, I’d like to experience it for real. Also I’ve recently been given this strange ring to dispose of carefully.
• See the Great Barrier Reef – why are these places all on the far side of the world? Perhaps in years to come the much heralded sub-space flights taking a couple of hours to get there will really come to fruition. And hopefully I’ll still have some Virgin air-miles to use up.
• Buy a place abroad overlooking the sea – we had a weekend holiday home, we called the Beach House, overlooking the sea at Clacton but I sold it when I retired. You may think that was a strange thing to do on I retiring, or, you may be impressed that I sold it at the top of the market in August 2007. Clacton is convenient but it sure as hell ain’t exotic.
• See England win the football World Cup – I’m hoping that England get to stage the World Cup in 2018 and that my Dad, Troy Junior and I can go and see England play in it at Wembley. In 2018, my Dad will be 88, I’ll be 63 (!) and Troy Junior will be 17. It will be great if the three generations of the family can enjoy this experience together. [Late addition : if our England "Reserve" team can beat Germany 1-2 in Berlin then anything is possible!]
• Complete the Book Project (see earlier posting) – this should take 20 years to complete. If it proves to be a best seller it may fund some of the other items above.
• See Troy Junior grow up to be a fine, confident and independent man - with only the one heir, I've got all my eggs in one basket. I hope he’ll be happy in love, happy in his chosen career and happy with his inheritance (that’s good genes; did you think I meant money!?!).
I hope you’ll return next week for my next instalment.
Monday, 17 November 2008
Monday, 10 November 2008
6 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME
Oh dear, I’ve been tagged! Well actually a part of me is quietly pleased that someone took the trouble to tag me (thanks TarteTartan) but now I’ve got to come up with six random facts about myself which may (or more may not) be of interest to you, my dear readers.
I independently discovered a Comet
I’ve always had an interest in astronomy and in the early 1970’s I discovered quite independently a faint comet whilst observing the night sky with binoculars. At that time there was no internet to consult so instead I wrote to the TV Astronomer Patrick Moore. I got a reply, written on his old battered typewriter, telling me that yes I had indeed discovered a comet but it had been first spotted a little earlier by two Japanese observers. If I’d been a little quicker I would have had a comet named after me. Instead I’ve still got the treasured letter from Patrick Moore (now Sir Patrick).
Dealing with customer complaints in person at Butlins
Whilst I was a student in the mid 1970’s I worked the summer holidays at a Butlins holiday camp. I dealt with customers' complaints when they came to see me in my small office at the end of one of the chalet rows. This was my first experience dealing with members of the public and I tried to handle it with a smile and with humour. I must have done quite a good job because when I applied in the second year for this temporary seasonal work they took me back on and on arrival I discovered they had fired the incumbent when they knew I was returning! The great part about this job was my commute to work each day – a two mile walk along the beach.
A most useful invention – especially for students
I’m very proud of this invention – the folding air guitar. Again this goes back to the mid 1970’s when I had to travel each term from my home in Yorkshire to University at Nottingham (the real one, not Trent Poly). With so many things to pack and carry I found having a folding air guitar invaluable. This is so useful for anybody who likes music but does a lot of travelling. I’m disappointed that I’ve never had the recognition this great invention deserves. Perhaps I should take it onto the Dragons' Den?
Impressing the neighbour’s son with 850 million dollars
I recently told my neighbour’s son (Troy Junior’s friend) that I had 850 million dollars. He didn’t believe me. I actually had to physically show him the 850 million dollars before he would accept I was telling the truth. Then he was impressed. He would have been less impressed I think if he fully understood the implications of the words “Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe” on the banknotes.
I’m taking my elderly father to Hong Kong this December
My father spends his days caring for my mother who has very advanced Alzheimers. Every three months we encourage him to have a “Respite” break when my mother goes into a care home. This December I’m taking him to Hong Kong. He has never been before, and at 78 years old this may be his first and last visit to the “Far East”. He’s got a flat bed both ways on the plane and five nights in a five star hotel. He deserves it (and much more) for all the love and devotion he gives to my poor mother. Alzheimers is the most truly horrendous thing – I’m praying for a cure before I get old.
The Troy Family may be on TV next Spring
I’m not giving away the details yet but there is a chance that the Troy Family may feature in a Channel 4 documentary next Spring. The idea is at a very early stage so I’m giving no further clues but will of course let everyone know more if it does come to fruition.
Well that’s six random facts about me that you didn’t know before. I hope you found them interesting. I think I would have struggled to find a seventh one – I lead a quiet life. Regarding the book project (see below) – I’ve got my short list drawn up now and will contact the “victims” and move things forward this week.
I independently discovered a Comet
I’ve always had an interest in astronomy and in the early 1970’s I discovered quite independently a faint comet whilst observing the night sky with binoculars. At that time there was no internet to consult so instead I wrote to the TV Astronomer Patrick Moore. I got a reply, written on his old battered typewriter, telling me that yes I had indeed discovered a comet but it had been first spotted a little earlier by two Japanese observers. If I’d been a little quicker I would have had a comet named after me. Instead I’ve still got the treasured letter from Patrick Moore (now Sir Patrick).
Dealing with customer complaints in person at Butlins
Whilst I was a student in the mid 1970’s I worked the summer holidays at a Butlins holiday camp. I dealt with customers' complaints when they came to see me in my small office at the end of one of the chalet rows. This was my first experience dealing with members of the public and I tried to handle it with a smile and with humour. I must have done quite a good job because when I applied in the second year for this temporary seasonal work they took me back on and on arrival I discovered they had fired the incumbent when they knew I was returning! The great part about this job was my commute to work each day – a two mile walk along the beach.
A most useful invention – especially for students
I’m very proud of this invention – the folding air guitar. Again this goes back to the mid 1970’s when I had to travel each term from my home in Yorkshire to University at Nottingham (the real one, not Trent Poly). With so many things to pack and carry I found having a folding air guitar invaluable. This is so useful for anybody who likes music but does a lot of travelling. I’m disappointed that I’ve never had the recognition this great invention deserves. Perhaps I should take it onto the Dragons' Den?
Impressing the neighbour’s son with 850 million dollars
I recently told my neighbour’s son (Troy Junior’s friend) that I had 850 million dollars. He didn’t believe me. I actually had to physically show him the 850 million dollars before he would accept I was telling the truth. Then he was impressed. He would have been less impressed I think if he fully understood the implications of the words “Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe” on the banknotes.
I’m taking my elderly father to Hong Kong this December
My father spends his days caring for my mother who has very advanced Alzheimers. Every three months we encourage him to have a “Respite” break when my mother goes into a care home. This December I’m taking him to Hong Kong. He has never been before, and at 78 years old this may be his first and last visit to the “Far East”. He’s got a flat bed both ways on the plane and five nights in a five star hotel. He deserves it (and much more) for all the love and devotion he gives to my poor mother. Alzheimers is the most truly horrendous thing – I’m praying for a cure before I get old.
The Troy Family may be on TV next Spring
I’m not giving away the details yet but there is a chance that the Troy Family may feature in a Channel 4 documentary next Spring. The idea is at a very early stage so I’m giving no further clues but will of course let everyone know more if it does come to fruition.
Well that’s six random facts about me that you didn’t know before. I hope you found them interesting. I think I would have struggled to find a seventh one – I lead a quiet life. Regarding the book project (see below) – I’ve got my short list drawn up now and will contact the “victims” and move things forward this week.
Friday, 31 October 2008
HELP WRITE AND THEN PROFIT FROM A BEST SELLING BOOK!
Yes, I thought that was a heading that would catch the interest of my readers. I have had what I hope is a brainwave – an idea that could result in the production of a best selling book. The good news is that I want to share this project with several other people, each taking an equal share of the profit. The bad news is that the benefits, by the nature of the project, are to say the least, some way off in the future.
“So what is this brainwave for a best selling book?” I hear you cry. Here it is:-
I’m looking for four or five other people, as well as myself, to record a typical day in their life each year for the next twenty years. On that specific day each year (say for example, the first Wednesday in May) they would attempt to do the same things, year after year, whilst making observations of the changing world around them. They would record what was making the news headlines, the latest crazes, the sort of clothes they were wearing, the price of their purchases; whilst doing a collection of the mundane and interesting things that go to make up an average day.
Imagine if this had been done for say the period 1956 to 1975. What a lot of interesting changes would have been observed and recorded even by people going about their everyday lives. Or the period from say 1978 to 1997. In fact I suspect that for any 20 year period in history the changes would make a fascinating read.
I think we would need a variety of people – male and female, urban and rural, married and single, from their late twenties to their early fifties – to get the most out of the project. It would need people in a somewhat settled routine for continuity. It would be no use for example for a 7 year old to transition into a 27 year old (from CBBC to Panorama) as that would be about their own transition rather than the changes in the world about them. Likewise people shouldn’t be too old at the start of the project as we would want them to complete the project whilst still being healthy and active (and alive!).
If each person’s annual observations ran to about three pages of text that would produce 60 pages over the 20 years. With five or six people that would give a 300-360 page book.
I think if it was then published in 2029 it could have the potential to catch the public’s imagination and become a bestseller. Best case scenario – it would be on everybody's Christmas present list and ultimately become the Samuel Pepy’s Diary of 21st Century. Worse case is that no one would interested, but even then, the people undertaking their project would have collected some interesting observations for their own family history and their future generations.
So is anybody interested? I would look to share the future proceeds in equal shares so I’m looking for no additional reward for the initial concept. Some outline legal and confidentiality agreement would be needed for everyone’s protection. Everyone taking part would have to commit to the project for 20 years – effectively agreeing to maintain as far as possible the same activities on one unique day each year for twenty years. So what do you think? And more to the point, are you interested in taking part?
“So what is this brainwave for a best selling book?” I hear you cry. Here it is:-
I’m looking for four or five other people, as well as myself, to record a typical day in their life each year for the next twenty years. On that specific day each year (say for example, the first Wednesday in May) they would attempt to do the same things, year after year, whilst making observations of the changing world around them. They would record what was making the news headlines, the latest crazes, the sort of clothes they were wearing, the price of their purchases; whilst doing a collection of the mundane and interesting things that go to make up an average day.
Imagine if this had been done for say the period 1956 to 1975. What a lot of interesting changes would have been observed and recorded even by people going about their everyday lives. Or the period from say 1978 to 1997. In fact I suspect that for any 20 year period in history the changes would make a fascinating read.
I think we would need a variety of people – male and female, urban and rural, married and single, from their late twenties to their early fifties – to get the most out of the project. It would need people in a somewhat settled routine for continuity. It would be no use for example for a 7 year old to transition into a 27 year old (from CBBC to Panorama) as that would be about their own transition rather than the changes in the world about them. Likewise people shouldn’t be too old at the start of the project as we would want them to complete the project whilst still being healthy and active (and alive!).
If each person’s annual observations ran to about three pages of text that would produce 60 pages over the 20 years. With five or six people that would give a 300-360 page book.
I think if it was then published in 2029 it could have the potential to catch the public’s imagination and become a bestseller. Best case scenario – it would be on everybody's Christmas present list and ultimately become the Samuel Pepy’s Diary of 21st Century. Worse case is that no one would interested, but even then, the people undertaking their project would have collected some interesting observations for their own family history and their future generations.
So is anybody interested? I would look to share the future proceeds in equal shares so I’m looking for no additional reward for the initial concept. Some outline legal and confidentiality agreement would be needed for everyone’s protection. Everyone taking part would have to commit to the project for 20 years – effectively agreeing to maintain as far as possible the same activities on one unique day each year for twenty years. So what do you think? And more to the point, are you interested in taking part?
Sunday, 26 October 2008
SYMBOLIC OF WHO IS IN CHARGE?
Do you have that horrible little EU symbol on your car registration plates? If so, you are in a small minority here in the UK yet if you travel on the Continent they are displayed, presumably with pride, on virtually all their cars. This, perhaps more than any other tangible sign, clearly shows Britain’s contrasting antipathy to the EU.
When Mrs Troy and I have purchased new cars over the last few years one of our first instructions to the car dealers has been to ensure, most emphatically, that the number plates do not include the EU flag symbol. We would not be seen dead with it. Mrs Troy does have an EU flag sticker in her car window but as it also has a big NO in the centre her feelings on the matter are quite clear. She got her car sticker off eBay and it looks like this:-
Quite a lot people in the UK have decided to put the national flag – of England, Scotland or Wales – on their car registration plates. They have done that in the belief that this is legal. In 2001, following a Mail On Sunday campaign, a Labour government minister assured motorists that they could continue to display the Cross of St. George, the Scottish Saltire or the Welsh Dragon. DVLA officials at the time advised that legislation would quickly be enacted to ensure the legality of these symbols on vehicles. But now we learn that never happened. Seven years later, following questions in Parliament, it has emerged that the required legislation was never put in place.
So the government action to exempt UK drivers from the EU legislation outlawing national symbols never happened. Perhaps it is because, as with so many things, this Government is happy to say things but never action their words?
More disturbingly however, it could be because our Government humbly approached their bosses in Brussels to get their kind permission for the exemption but that exemption was refused. I suspect it is the latter – WE ARE NO LONGER A SOVEREIGN STATE.
When Mrs Troy and I have purchased new cars over the last few years one of our first instructions to the car dealers has been to ensure, most emphatically, that the number plates do not include the EU flag symbol. We would not be seen dead with it. Mrs Troy does have an EU flag sticker in her car window but as it also has a big NO in the centre her feelings on the matter are quite clear. She got her car sticker off eBay and it looks like this:-
Quite a lot people in the UK have decided to put the national flag – of England, Scotland or Wales – on their car registration plates. They have done that in the belief that this is legal. In 2001, following a Mail On Sunday campaign, a Labour government minister assured motorists that they could continue to display the Cross of St. George, the Scottish Saltire or the Welsh Dragon. DVLA officials at the time advised that legislation would quickly be enacted to ensure the legality of these symbols on vehicles. But now we learn that never happened. Seven years later, following questions in Parliament, it has emerged that the required legislation was never put in place.
So the government action to exempt UK drivers from the EU legislation outlawing national symbols never happened. Perhaps it is because, as with so many things, this Government is happy to say things but never action their words?
More disturbingly however, it could be because our Government humbly approached their bosses in Brussels to get their kind permission for the exemption but that exemption was refused. I suspect it is the latter – WE ARE NO LONGER A SOVEREIGN STATE.
Saturday, 18 October 2008
THE LEAVES THEY ARE A FALLING
October is a busy time in the Troy garden. The good news is that we have some lovely beech and oak trees in our back garden. The bad news is that in October all their leaves choose to fall to the ground. I can’t overstate the gravity of the situation. Clearing away these leaves is a major undertaking.
The trees are a beautiful feature of our garden and when we bought the house we were told that the trees were subject to a TPO. To the uninitiated I should explain that a TPO means Tree Preservation Order issued by the local council. The council feel that our trees enhance the environment and therefore they want to protect and safeguard them. Unfortunately though the council do not want to come and clear up the leaves from their protected trees – that is our job.
So in early October our trees look like this:-
That’s not all of them just the ones I could fit in.
Then by mid October the garden begins to look like this (2006 picture):-
And then we all have to get down to the hard work of collecting them up. We have several goes at clearing the leaves and each time a couple of days later the garden looks the same. Last year in total, over a period of about four weeks, we collected 40+ black bin bags of compacted leaves. After the first year (2006) I went out and bought an electric leaf vacuum to suck up the leaves but we also rely on manual methods as modelled here by Troy Junior.
These giant plastic scoopers are very effective and highly recommended. They cost about £6 from Robert Dyas - and are a cheap way of keeping a child amused for hours. If you do buy them we can sell you some leaves for your child to play with!
The trees are a beautiful feature of our garden and when we bought the house we were told that the trees were subject to a TPO. To the uninitiated I should explain that a TPO means Tree Preservation Order issued by the local council. The council feel that our trees enhance the environment and therefore they want to protect and safeguard them. Unfortunately though the council do not want to come and clear up the leaves from their protected trees – that is our job.
So in early October our trees look like this:-
That’s not all of them just the ones I could fit in.
Then by mid October the garden begins to look like this (2006 picture):-
And then we all have to get down to the hard work of collecting them up. We have several goes at clearing the leaves and each time a couple of days later the garden looks the same. Last year in total, over a period of about four weeks, we collected 40+ black bin bags of compacted leaves. After the first year (2006) I went out and bought an electric leaf vacuum to suck up the leaves but we also rely on manual methods as modelled here by Troy Junior.
These giant plastic scoopers are very effective and highly recommended. They cost about £6 from Robert Dyas - and are a cheap way of keeping a child amused for hours. If you do buy them we can sell you some leaves for your child to play with!
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
TIME FOR A CHANGE IN TIME?
Is it time for a change in time? That is what the good folk of Jersey CI will be voting on tomorrow (Wednesday 15th). They are having a referendum (that’s like the people having their say, Gordon) on whether to move their clocks forward by one hour to Central European Time. That would put Jersey one hour ahead of the UK throughout the year. Supporters of the plan say it would improve the quality of life in Jersey. The main objection of opponents is that it would put them out of sync. with the UK.
I would certainly vote for that change here in the UK. It would mean that in winter we are on GMT + 1 hour and in summer on GMT + 2hours. During the long summer evenings the sun would set about 10.20pm. It would rise about 5am instead of 4am so effectively we’d be getting an extra hour of daylight during our waking hours. If you’ve ever been in France during the summer you will know how pleasant it is to have this extra hour of daylight.
But what about winter you ask? Well during the month of shortest daylight – December – the sun wouldn’t rise until about 9am and would set about 5pm. Some people argue against the change because for a few weeks in the year English school children would be going to school in twilight conditions. I suppose schools and offices could move their start times by 15minutes from November to January.
However there would be savings made on power usage in the evening – so this would be a green adjustment – and there would be fewer road accidents. Apparently, and I don’t remember this, the UK experimented with the extra hour between 1968 and 1971 and there was a fall in the number of people killed in road accidents.
So what’s to stop us changing? The Scottish don’t like it because they would suffer from dark winter mornings more than the English due to their northern latitude. They wouldn’t see any winter daylight until well after 9am. Also, I understand that farmers don’t like the idea, again because of the darker mornings but I would have thought they would have more flexibility over their working hours anyway.
I think this is a debate worth having. I look forward to the result of the Jersey referendum with interest. And courtesy of my blog you can also have your own mini-referendum : I would welcome your comments on this subject.
UPDATE 8.20AM 16TH OCTOBER : We are about 1,058 comments short of a statistically valid sample.
I would certainly vote for that change here in the UK. It would mean that in winter we are on GMT + 1 hour and in summer on GMT + 2hours. During the long summer evenings the sun would set about 10.20pm. It would rise about 5am instead of 4am so effectively we’d be getting an extra hour of daylight during our waking hours. If you’ve ever been in France during the summer you will know how pleasant it is to have this extra hour of daylight.
But what about winter you ask? Well during the month of shortest daylight – December – the sun wouldn’t rise until about 9am and would set about 5pm. Some people argue against the change because for a few weeks in the year English school children would be going to school in twilight conditions. I suppose schools and offices could move their start times by 15minutes from November to January.
However there would be savings made on power usage in the evening – so this would be a green adjustment – and there would be fewer road accidents. Apparently, and I don’t remember this, the UK experimented with the extra hour between 1968 and 1971 and there was a fall in the number of people killed in road accidents.
So what’s to stop us changing? The Scottish don’t like it because they would suffer from dark winter mornings more than the English due to their northern latitude. They wouldn’t see any winter daylight until well after 9am. Also, I understand that farmers don’t like the idea, again because of the darker mornings but I would have thought they would have more flexibility over their working hours anyway.
I think this is a debate worth having. I look forward to the result of the Jersey referendum with interest. And courtesy of my blog you can also have your own mini-referendum : I would welcome your comments on this subject.
UPDATE 8.20AM 16TH OCTOBER : We are about 1,058 comments short of a statistically valid sample.
Friday, 10 October 2008
SCHOOL MUMS TO THE RESCUE!
Whilst controversy raged on my blog yesterday there was excitement of another kind outside my house. Minutes after the morning school run had finished there were three school mums desperately trying to get into my house. And I was there. At this point, dear reader, you are probably imagining three yummy mummies trying to break down my door whilst I’m inside trying to decide on which one to bestow my “morning favours”.
I like this image. When I took early retirement this image had crossed my mind.
Unfortunately the excitement was of a different sort yesterday. I had locked myself out of the house although I still had my keys with me. “What???” you ask. Well my front door effectively locks itself when you close it so I ’m always careful to ensure I have my keys with me at all times. What I hadn’t noticed was that my son had previously opened my door from the inside using a spare set of keys and then had left them in the lock.
So at 8.35am the other families who we walk to school with were walking up our road as usual and my son and I raced out to join them. I closed our front door and went to double lock it. My key wouldn’t fully go in the lock as the inside key was in the way. I could neither double lock it nor unlock it – I WAS LOCKED OUT. Anyway, school beckoned so we all completed the walk to the school (with me cursing my son under my breath all the way). Then two of the school mums came to help and give moral support. One of the school mums had explained that a few months earlier she had had a window changed and the workman had easily removed the outside beading and then the window pane. Hey presto! An easy way in? The school mum emerged from her kitchen with a variety of implements with which to attempt our break-in.
First though we tried working on the front door – trying to shift the inside keys. One mum had a daughter aged about three. Perhaps the daughter’s thin arm could reach through the letterbox to these keys. Not a good idea – it was soon apparent that we were more likely to have a young child with its arm stuck in the letterbox. Just then another school mum walked by – “trying to break-in?" she asked breezily. She quickly got hold of the long wire which the other mum had brought and try to get to the keys through the letterbox. After several attempts she got them but the wire just bent. “I’ll come back with a stronger coat hanger” she said and promptly left. In the meantime we went round the back of the house to look at the window beading. We tried to dislodge it but it wouldn’t shift.
A car drew up outside the front – the third school mum returning with a straightened coat hanger. She sat on our front door stairs and began to poke at the keys through the letterbox again. Minutes passed by, neighbour’s young daughter got bored “Can we go now!” she wailed. Two of the school mums gave up and started walking down the road but meanwhile the third mum had hooked the keys with the wire but couldn’t budge them. I quickly grabbed the wire and frantically twisted it. Suddenly the keys came loose. I put my key in the outside lock and the door was opened. “I’M IN!” I shouted to the other mums as they walked down the road. They rushed back. Congratulations all round – a job well done.
Meanwhile I had put my wife in the picture and from her office she had contacted my bank with whom I have emergency cover. They asked her if the doors and windows were all locked. She replied “Yes, [duh!] that why he’s locked out”. Their reply? “Well if the house is secure we can’t help you, we don’t class it as an emergency!”.
If you are in trouble there is only one place to call – “SCHOOL MUMS TO THE RESCUE”.
I like this image. When I took early retirement this image had crossed my mind.
Unfortunately the excitement was of a different sort yesterday. I had locked myself out of the house although I still had my keys with me. “What???” you ask. Well my front door effectively locks itself when you close it so I ’m always careful to ensure I have my keys with me at all times. What I hadn’t noticed was that my son had previously opened my door from the inside using a spare set of keys and then had left them in the lock.
So at 8.35am the other families who we walk to school with were walking up our road as usual and my son and I raced out to join them. I closed our front door and went to double lock it. My key wouldn’t fully go in the lock as the inside key was in the way. I could neither double lock it nor unlock it – I WAS LOCKED OUT. Anyway, school beckoned so we all completed the walk to the school (with me cursing my son under my breath all the way). Then two of the school mums came to help and give moral support. One of the school mums had explained that a few months earlier she had had a window changed and the workman had easily removed the outside beading and then the window pane. Hey presto! An easy way in? The school mum emerged from her kitchen with a variety of implements with which to attempt our break-in.
First though we tried working on the front door – trying to shift the inside keys. One mum had a daughter aged about three. Perhaps the daughter’s thin arm could reach through the letterbox to these keys. Not a good idea – it was soon apparent that we were more likely to have a young child with its arm stuck in the letterbox. Just then another school mum walked by – “trying to break-in?" she asked breezily. She quickly got hold of the long wire which the other mum had brought and try to get to the keys through the letterbox. After several attempts she got them but the wire just bent. “I’ll come back with a stronger coat hanger” she said and promptly left. In the meantime we went round the back of the house to look at the window beading. We tried to dislodge it but it wouldn’t shift.
A car drew up outside the front – the third school mum returning with a straightened coat hanger. She sat on our front door stairs and began to poke at the keys through the letterbox again. Minutes passed by, neighbour’s young daughter got bored “Can we go now!” she wailed. Two of the school mums gave up and started walking down the road but meanwhile the third mum had hooked the keys with the wire but couldn’t budge them. I quickly grabbed the wire and frantically twisted it. Suddenly the keys came loose. I put my key in the outside lock and the door was opened. “I’M IN!” I shouted to the other mums as they walked down the road. They rushed back. Congratulations all round – a job well done.
Meanwhile I had put my wife in the picture and from her office she had contacted my bank with whom I have emergency cover. They asked her if the doors and windows were all locked. She replied “Yes, [duh!] that why he’s locked out”. Their reply? “Well if the house is secure we can’t help you, we don’t class it as an emergency!”.
If you are in trouble there is only one place to call – “SCHOOL MUMS TO THE RESCUE”.
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